every beat of my heart

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♥ Wednesday, March 25, 2009

10:36 PM

wonder of wonders. i've made a post in what, months? and no this doesnt really exactly mean that im reviving it again. i just sort of, kinda, felt the need and desire to post.

i can barely keep my eyes open now, even though it's only 10.37pm. it's probably due to all the sleep deprivation over the last 3 weeks, even ruth says my dark eye rings are more prominent lately.

life's been hectic, and who knew om in div3 would be 13467 times as busy as div2. but hey, im not saying i regret it because for om, it's worth it. every single second. i just feel so bad sometimes when i get snappy and easily irritated to people who absolutely dont deserve it. i have most definitely not been on my best behaviour. sometimes for no rhyme or reason, maybe all the stress and work catches up with me in a whoosh, and i get really dull and seemingly unhappy and it shows, it really does. and im really sorry if you've had to experience that.

i just feel like i can do so much more, like i should be doing so much more. but it's really human weakness to blame faults on something external, something you cant control, right? not that im saying we should, but that we do. huijie you have to learn, when will you learn, that it's okay to make mistakes, as long as you realise it and take responsibility for it.

today i learnt how to put myself into a mood so that i get things done. honestly. psyching yourself up and saying that "huijie while soldering wires today you will be cool, calm, composed, careful and confident. you will not make stupid mistakes nor you will freak out or panic when something does go wrong. keep it cool." and amazingly enough, it went smoothly, so smoothly in fact that i couldnt really wrap my head around it. and if i can do that all the time, imagine how much time i would save! oh will the wonders never cease

so anyway fulldress is on friday and even if we get trashed (which we will not), we wouldnt be discouraged and instead work harder because that's what om is all about. and we will maintain a cheery mood after to celebrate japna's bday.

life's been hectic, life's been crazy, life's been a roller coaster ride. but, im not complaining. not yet.

bye.

♥ Wednesday, March 25, 2009

10:36 PM

wonder of wonders. i've made a post in what, months? and no this doesnt really exactly mean that im reviving it again. i just sort of, kinda, felt the need and desire to post.

i can barely keep my eyes open now, even though it's only 10.37pm. it's probably due to all the sleep deprivation over the last 3 weeks, even ruth says my dark eye rings are more prominent lately.

life's been hectic, and who knew om in div3 would be 13467 times as busy as div2. but hey, im not saying i regret it because for om, it's worth it. every single second. i just feel so bad sometimes when i get snappy and easily irritated to people who absolutely dont deserve it. i have most definitely not been on my best behaviour. sometimes for no rhyme or reason, maybe all the stress and work catches up with me in a whoosh, and i get really dull and seemingly unhappy and it shows, it really does. and im really sorry if you've had to experience that.

i just feel like i can do so much more, like i should be doing so much more. but it's really human weakness to blame faults on something external, something you cant control, right? not that im saying we should, but that we do. huijie you have to learn, when will you learn, that it's okay to make mistakes, as long as you realise it and take responsibility for it.

today i learnt how to put myself into a mood so that i get things done. honestly. psyching yourself up and saying that "huijie while soldering wires today you will be cool, calm, composed, careful and confident. you will not make stupid mistakes nor you will freak out or panic when something does go wrong. keep it cool." and amazingly enough, it went smoothly, so smoothly in fact that i couldnt really wrap my head around it. and if i can do that all the time, imagine how much time i would save! oh will the wonders never cease

so anyway fulldress is on friday and even if we get trashed (which we will not), we wouldnt be discouraged and instead work harder because that's what om is all about. and we will maintain a cheery mood after to celebrate japna's bday.

life's been hectic, life's been crazy, life's been a roller coaster ride. but, im not complaining. not yet.

bye.